Question for all you mothers

I realize that Gabbie has only been alive since Tuesday, but I daresay, breastfeeding is the hardest thing to do! I went to classes before she was born and met with a lactation specialist in the hospital and Gabbie and I still can't get it down. She latches on fine, and the milk factory is producing but it's almost like she hates breastfeeding. She fights with me and will turn her head away when I try to feed her. In a worried and desperate attempt to make sure her belly is full, I have pumped and then fed her a bottle. I know lactation specialists and some pediatrician's would say that is a no no, but what am I supposed to do? She takes a bottle soooo much better and sleeps like an angel when I pump as opposed to breast feeding an hour later she is cranky and still won't feed. What do I do? I wanted so badly to breast feed but everytime I try, Gabbie is mad and I am exhausted. Suggestions anyone?

On a lighter note, everything else is GREAT! When she sleeps, she sleeps and she is so beautiful and observant of everything around her. I love staring into her eyes when she is awake and I am glad to have her. I feel great and I have been up and about cleaning and moving around fine without any pain. Hopefully I will be able to go back to kick boxing in a matter of time when I am fully healed!

Please, suggestions, comfort, reassurance from anyone! I am sad this isn't working out and I am physically tired after trying so hard to get this down.

She's Here!

Gabriella Ray Crane made her entrance into the world on Tuesday, 4/14/2009. She weighed 6 lbs, 4 oz, and was 19 inches long. She has her mommy's fair skin and blonde hair and her daddy's facial features. She has 10 fingers and 10 toes and we are so in love with her!

At 10:30 on Monday night, I started having irregular contractions and by 12:30 am, they were then regular, intense, and 5 minutes a part. Todd was so excited the entire time everything was progressing that he got up, showered, put our suit case in the car, and watched me as I was lying on the floor, withering in pain. Since my contractions were regular and not too long a part, we headed up to Alta View Hospital. I was dilated to a 4 1/2 and was immediately admitted and everything went underway.

I had to wait about 1 1/2 hours for my epidural and I tell you, I have a new appreciation and respect for those women who do natural birth. What troopers! During my contractions, I wanted to die and there is no way a big whimp like me could handle the process of natural birth. Holy crap! Once I got the epidural, the process was smooth. My doctor had to break my water because I wasn't dilating very quickly and once he did, I dilated to a 10 in an hour and after pushing for 45 minutes, Gabbie came into this world. Todd and I were both crying and we are so thankful for this opportunity to be a mom and a dad.

I'm healing well and I don't have any pain. Gabbie is eating well and she is such a mellow, sweet baby. She scored an 8 on her Apgar test and she passed her hearing test. We get to come home tomorrow and I am excited to be in the comforts of our home, with our little one.

Here are some pictures of her big arrival, ENJOY!

The Waiting Game

Last week I went to my doctor for my weekly check-up and he told me I was dilated to a 2 and that I was 50% effaced. YAY! He also stripped my membranes for me and hopefully that'll speed things up. He said by doing that, most women on average go into labor earlier and it decreases time being pregnant. BRING IT ON! Nothing has happened yet that would cause me to go to the hospital but I'm hoping this baby makes her appearance soon. I'm fat, uncomfortable, I can't breathe, and I can't sleep. Someone get this kid out of me!

For you Twilight fans....I hate to say it!

As many of you know, I am a huge Twilight fan. I love the story and I have a huge crush on Edward. When the movie was being filmed, I was super excited and some gals at work and I would scour websites on line to see photos from the set. When the movie was released, my mom, cousin and I went to a special screening and I convinced myself that I loved the movie. If some of you are as obsessed about the series as I am, you too already have the DVD and have watched it a couple of times. I have to say, this time around, I am a tad disappointed in the film. The acting is horrible, the screen play sucks and the special effects are far from anything spectacular. For instance, how about the scene where James bites Bella and Carlisle tells Edward he needs to suck the venom out of her to save her life. Edward closes his eyes and really dramatically says, "Caaaaarrrlllisle!" WHAT? Or how about the scene when Edward tells Bella he is a vampire and he's jumping from tree to tree-the effects are horrible! Alice can't act, Bella is very dark, and half the actors look like they're wearing wigs. I am surprised that Catherine Hardwicke (the director) didn't cut the filming in some parts and ask the actors to tone it down a bit. I am very glad there is a new director filming the sequel who has had more experience with special effects on big films. In my obsessed opinion, in order for New Moon to be a box office hit, the following points need to be taken into consideration during filming:

1) What's Edward doing while he is "away"? Let's face it, the thing that makes these books so good is Edward and I thought New Moon was the most depressing book in the series. What is he doing? I hope the director shows him in pain for leaving Bella and also hunting down Victoria.
2) Alice and Bella's relationship needs to be expanded on. In the book, they are very connected and the film needs to show how "tight" they are to each other.
3) The werewolves better bring it! I sure hope this new director is as good as everyone says he is with special effects. The werewolves better dance the pants off of the vampires.
4) Volturi-are they going to be as creepy as they are in the book?
5) Edward's return. Okay, the best part of New Moon for me, is when Edward returns to Forks. The emotions he and Bella feel better be real and none of this, "I'm sorry, let's make up!" It needs to be heart felt and REAL...minus the corniness that some scenes in the Twilight movie had.

Anywho, yes, I know I am a weirdo for both writing a blog about this and being so dedicated to Twilight but come on! Make the next movie something to write home about!

Catching up!

I am very lucky to be blessed with such great friends in my life. A dear friend in my ward, Amberly Green, threw me one last baby shower at her home last week. Because I have worked full time for the past 4 years, I haven't really gotten to know the girl's in my ward really well and I thought only 3 people would show up. I was greatly touched to see that almost everyone who was invited made an appearance. I can't believe how lucky I am to know so many kind and caring people. By far at this time in my life, I have stronger, closer relationships with my friends than I ever have had in my life.

On another note, I only have 3 1/2 more weeks until this baby is supposed to make her first appearance in this world. I am very excited! People keep asking me if I am nervous but unbelieveably, I'm not! Todd and I have waited a long time for this little girl to join us and I can't wait for her to get here.

Clint Layton

This past week, Todd and I found out that one of our very best friends was diagnosed with cancer. About a month ago our dear friend, Clint Layton, started feeling really sick and went in to the doctor to figure out what was going on. At the time after many blood tests, nothing showed up in his system to suggest that he was developing cancer. About two weeks ago, Clint was feeling even worse and scheduled another appointment with his doctor. After doing the same series of tests, the doctor finally found some irregularities in his blood and drove Clint, in his own car up to the Huntsman Cancer Institute. Immediately the staff went to work on Clint and by last Tuesday, they were able to diagnose Clint with a condition called, Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.

It has been pretty devastating and surreal for all of us to receive this news. Todd and Clint have been best friends since they were born and Clint married one of my favorite cousins. He has lived an amazing life serving the Lord and free from the evils of this world. He and his darling wife have two beautiful girls and all of us are shocked to learn that Clint of all people has received this shocking news. On a positive note, this type of cancer is curable and Clint has received two blessings from both his brother and Richard G. Scott (a general authority of the LDS church) that it is not his time to go and that his body would heal and that he and his little family would be fine. We all feel strongly that Clint will get through this like a champ and will be blessed tremendously. It is just heartbreaking for all of us to watch Clint go through chemotherapy and suffer. What's more, his wife Kelly is pretty overwhelmed with the situation. She is now the breadwinner of the family and also has to act as a brave, supportive wife and a mother to their daughters. As family and friends we are all rallying behind this little family to support them. They can use all the help they can get and any positive energy, thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated.

So Grateful! Part 2

I have been very fortunate to work with the coolest group of college students at the U. For the past 3 years, I have been one of the advisors to the Student Health Advisory Committee (SHAC). SHAC is composed of a highly dedicated group of students at the University of Utah, whose main purpose is to promote physical, mental, and spiritual health on campus. When I first arrived on campus as a Health Educator, I was immediately welcomed with open arms from these students and I have become great friends with all of them. We have a lot of fun and serious memories together. About a year and a half ago, my predecessor left his position to become a director at another institution and there was some concern from him about me not being able to hold the group together. I was very hurt and offended because I had worked very hard and often ended up doing this person's job many, many times and I felt stabbed in the back. I am beginning to realize now that he was worried about letting this group go because he had built it up and didn't think anyone could do as good as a job as he did. My students supported and had faith in me and together we were able to gain 30 reliable members of the group who come to meetings each week, were responsible, and who have produced some of the best work that SHAC has ever done. It has been a huge self-esteem boost for me and I am thankful for the relationships I've gained with them.

On Monday it was my last SHAC meeting. I was a complete emotional mess because my students put together the sweetest, most endearing gift I could ever have asked for. They compiled a scrapbook of what they've learned from me and some memories we have together. Some of them were so personal and touching that I just cried the entire time while they were presenting the gift to me. I was so worried when my boss left a year and a half ago that I wouldn't measure up or that what he said would be true but my students goodbye to me was such a testimony that they do in fact love and respect me. My heart is overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude towards them!

I feel I am walking away from SHAC with my great lessons learned. If anything, I feel my students have taught me incredible things instead of me changing their lives. I will miss laughing and talking with them. I will miss our annual retreat and planning for our wellness fair. I will miss them coming into my office just to chat and I will miss seeing them on campus. I consider all my students "friends" and I am so proud of their accomplishments and I will never forget them. THANK YOU SHAC! I LOVE YOU!

So grateful! Part 1

This past week, I have felt extremely blessed and grateful for the people in my life. Last Saturday my biological father's family threw me a baby shower and I am overwhelmed with gratitude towards them. Why it touched me so much is because I have not been very close with his family.

My dad's parents, Nana and Gramps, have been the most incredible grandparents I have had. They are the ones who came to every ballet performance, and came to watch me perform at football games. I have very, very sweet and endearing memories with them and they are my favorite grandma and grandpa. They would always come up to Layton to take us out and let us sleep over. They would stay up late with us and watch any movie of our choice and then make us breakfast the next morning. Even now, as I am writing this, I am getting emotional and teary eyed thinking about them. I love them so much and I am so thankful to have had them in my life. Furthermore, their other children have been incredible as well. They always make sure we're invited to everything and in turn, they have tried to be a part of our lives. I haven't had the opportunity to really get to know them at a very personal level and so when my three aunts offered to throw me a shower, I was so touched that they would do that. Not a ton of my cousins know me very well and I am sure some of their spouses wonder who the heck I am but they came and supported me. I love the Mulvay family and my children will know them. I love them very much and they mean a lot to me.

7 days left and counting down

I only have 7 days left until I leave my job. WAHOO! This is a very bitter sweet experience and I am both very sad to leave the great people I work with but very happy to be moving on with my life. I have learned a great deal during my three years at the U of U and I have gained many good friends. I won't miss the long drive everyday, the higher-education philosophical bull crap, or the late nights. I will miss my "sisters" at the office, Elizabeth and Rachel S. and all my SHAC students. I feel I am walking away having learned something from all of them instead of me having a huge impact on their lives. My position at the U has been the best job I have held and I am thankful for the opportunity to have worked at such a great institution.

With that being said, I am so excited to become a mom! As the time draws closer and closer, Todd and I feel so positive and at peace about our decision for me to quit and be home with Gabbie. I go into her room every night and I stare at everything. I can't believe that in a few short weeks she will be here with us. I am not very nervous about the labor and delivery but I am more concerned about being a really good mother.

Lately I have been thinking about things I went through growing up and I hope to high heaven that my kids don't ever have to go through them. I think it's just the mama bear coming out in me and being very protective of my kids. If my children do experience similar situations, I do know that it's good for them to be stretched and tested and hard experiences help them in the long run. I just remember some very painful situations and I know it will probably hurt me as a mother to have to watch my kids go through the same things. I guess that is just why we are taught to teach our children well, how to communicate, and how to cope with hard experiences.

I am very thankful to have such a great companion who will be an incredible father. He is going to be a very loving and kind dad to our kids. He is very supportive of me and I appreciate that he cares so much about how I feel and what I need. I can't wait to start this new chapter in our lives together!

Gabbie's Room

Alright, we have finally finished Gabbie's room and I love the way it has turned out. It is really hard to take a good picture of the room because 1) my camera sucks and 2) the room is pretty small. Needless to say, I don't think the pictures do it justice! We have 8 more weeks to go and counting down!

Valentines Day

I have always thought that Valentine's Day was the lamest holiday. It's so unfair and stupid! I always feel bad for the single people who don't have a "special someone" to spend it with and quite frankly, I think stuffed animals holding a velvet heart are tacky. I always get a laugh out of the people on the day of Valentine's who rush to the store in a panic to by their loved one a gift to show them, "Hey Baby, I love you!" However, when I met Todd my attitude towards Valentine's Day has changed. Not because I finally met someone to spend it with but because Todd proposed to me 8 years ago on February 14th.

The first time I met Todd, I received the distinct impression that I would marry him someday. I was (and still am) head over heels for him and I couldn't wait for that to happen. Todd and I had talked for a while about getting married and I thought he was going to wait until my birthday to propose.

I remember that Todd had cooked me a romantic dinner all by himself and then afterwards, he took me home. On the way home, we got pulled over by the Utah Highway patrol right by my house. The police officer was such a jerk! He told Todd he was driving recklessly and then he asked to search his car. I was so mad at the guy! I couldn't believe he was giving Todd such a hard time. We were really close to my house and I kept looking to see if my parents were looking out the window or if my dad would come and save us (he is a police officer too). The cop finally asked Todd for his license, cuffed him and then asked him to come and sit in his police car with him while he did a back ground check. I was fuming! What a masochistic butthead! About 5 minutes later, both the cop and Todd got out of the car and the cop had written up a ticket for Todd. The guy had me read it to make sure I understood why Todd was receiving a ticket and I started to laugh. On the ticket, the cop had written that I had the right to marry Todd and that he loved me. Todd then got on his knee and proposed. His poor little hands were shaking so hard! Needless to say, the rest is history! We will be married for 8 years in August and I am so happy!

I love Todd with all my heart and I am so proud of the person he has become and the life he has chosen. We have been through a lot of great experiences that have pushed us together and have helped us trust in each other and the Lord. He is one of my greatest heroes and I admire him for his choices and his dilligence. He means everything to me and I am so honored that he is going to be the father of my children and that I get to be with him forever.

I love you Todd!

I only have 11 more weeks until Gabbie is here!

This is for you Annalise. This is what I am looking like at 29 weeks of pregnancy. I can't wait to lose all the baby weight.

Superbowl

Am I the only one in the world who could care less about the superbowl? Honestly! I am a huge college football fan but when it comes to the NFL, spare me! The only reason I watch it is because I would be considered "un-American" and it's my lame excuse to eat like a total pig. Todd and I went to my cousin Kelly's house and "watched" the game. By "watched" I mean the boys watched the game and Kelly I talked and then I played with her two beautiful daughter's Callie and Tessa the entire time.

We did cook a great dinner before hand and I wanted to post some of the yummy recipes. ENJOY!

Baked Beans (the best ever)

1 pd. cooked bacon

2 large cans baked beans

1/2 c. chopped onion

1/2 green pepper, diced

3/4 c. brown sugar

1/2 c. ketchup

1-2 TB. worchestershire sauce

Mix all ingredients in a large pan and then slow cook for 3 hours at 325 degrees.

Fruit and Cookie Salad

1 large package instant vanilla pudding

2 c. buttermilk

1 large package Cool Whip

2 cans tropical blend fruit cocktail

2 cans mandarin oranges

2 cans pineapple chunks

grapes

strawberries

1 package fudge stripe cookies

Mix together, let sit in fridge for at least 1/2 hour and serve. YUMMY!

Tell me more about yourself!

I would love to know more about my blogging friends. Please tell me some random facts about yourself or answer some of these questions :

1) Where were you born?
2) What is your favorite childhood memory?
3) What's your favorite movie?
4) What's your favorite book?
5) What kind of hobbies do you have?
6) If you could eat anything you wanted and not gain weight, what would it be?
7) If you could have any superhero power, what would it be?
8) Where did you go on your very first date?
9) What did you do after high school? (i.e. college, mission, marriage, kids)
10) How many kids are in your family?

Let's hear it for stay at home mommy's!

Can I just complain for a second? I am getting so sick of people's shocked reaction when I tell them that I plan on quitting my job when my baby comes. Why is it a bad thing to want to be at home for your child? Working in the higher ed enivornment, I have received so much criticism for our choice for me to quit working at the U. People say stuff to me all the time like, "Wow, are you sure your husband is okay with that" or "don't you worry about losing your identity?". How in the world is that ANYONE'S business? One of my previous colleagues actually told me that me quitting to be a mother is a significant loss. WHAT? It's really unfortunate to see what satan has done to destroy the family. Mothers are valued less for their roles in the home and are praised for achieving a high paying career. No one has ever asked me what influenced me to make this choice and I would gladly tell them why I plan on "just being a mom."

My parents were divorced when I was 6 and I watched as my poor mother had to go back to the work force without an education or any skills to help her land a good job. My biological father was completely absent my entire life and never paid child support. During that time, the Lord blessed us significantly in providing my mother with a good job, good neighbors, and an excellent family to help us out. She worked long hours and still had time to take both my brother and I to ballet class and basketball practice. On top of that, she made sure we were taught the gospel and always took us to church. She is truly my hero and I am forever grateful to her for her sacrifices. More than anything, she wanted to be at home for her children but because of the circumstances my father put us in, she could not.

There are a couple of things I have always wanted. The first being to receive a college education. After watching my mother struggle and work in crappy jobs, at a young age I promised myself that I would go to school and learn skills that would help me in this life. I ended up going to the U of U and became the first woman in my family to receive her bachelor's degree. The second and perhaps greatest thing I have ever wanted was to be at home with my children someday.

I was very different from my friends growing up in the sense that my mother was working while other mom's were lucky to be at home for their kids. I was secretly jealous of those kids in my class whose mom's came and helped out with our school work or other activities. With that being said, I got my degree and Todd and I are now in a place where we feel very strongly about me being home. In a couple of priesthood blessings, we have been promised that Todd would be able to provide financially for our family and would always have a job. I have also been promised that I would be able to be at home for my children. I am going to trust the Lord because he has never let me down.

I am fed up with people minimizing the role of motherhood and I hate it when people say to me, "so, you're going to be a princess and JUST be a stay at home mom?". Anyone who has ever said that never had kids! For those of you who are already mother's, it's not a walk in the park. You're on call 24/7 and hardly ever get a break. Just a mom? HA! Mother's work harder than any professional business person I know and it's high time they get the credit and attention they deserve. Let's hear it for stay at home mommy's!

Our first blog

We have finally decided to try blogging! We have many family members and friends who have joined blogspot and we decided to try it out as well. Todd and I are starting out a new adventure in our lives in becoming parents in the near future and we are so excited for the new change that will be joining us on April 18th, 2009.